I guess it’s like they say; life is full of little surprises… Some of them are good and some of them are not. Sometimes we hear news that shakes the very core of our being and leads us to draw upon our faith in the Lord like never before. We need to rest on the promise and the fact that He alone is in control of all things, including me. Through His bountiful goodness, He offers us a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). That hope is what we stand on when we feel there is sinking sand all around us. I have felt that sinking sand in the past few weeks and wanted to share just a bit of it with you. I want to share how God works within our situations to show us He is there and to offer strength and even to give us JOY... Here is the beginning of my story and for those of you who do not know, I had been diagnosed with a brain tumor that (even though it is growing slowly) is sitting next to the main vein in my head and needs to be removed before there is more growth into the vein. While I cannot say that I did not know about the brain tumor for some time, when I saw the neurosurgeon and he said we will need to do brain surgery, my heart sank. It felt like the room was spinning and everyone was talking in slow motion. I could hear my husband talking to the Doctor about the procedure, but all I could think about was my children and how I would share the seriousness of the situation without scaring them.
Anyone who knows me, understands that I love to laugh, I love being in the ministry and I love to be an encourager to others trying to share the bright side of everything. I also love living fully in the Joy of the Lord and sing about all of life's moments.... If there is a song that relates, I sing it or I simply make up one of my own to cherish the moment. Now, I started thinking, how in the world do I put a funny spin or a song to having brain surgery to remove a tumor? AND, How do I claim the JOY while I am really scared to death. Well, I am not going to try to think up a song today, but I cannot make any promises for the future! Instead I am going to give you a close up of the situation.
I will say it has been hard to tell people that were outside of my immediate circle about the surgery, and when I have, I found myself avoiding eye contact and assuring them that I was OK … "Got it all under control, best surgeon ever and so on and so on". I could not even believe it as I listened to myself saying those things even to my closest friends when I was feeling so overwhelmed inside and wanted to say I’m a mess. Sometimes it is hard to admit we need others but, God knows what we need even before we do.
Let me tell you what the Lord did for me as I was sitting in my chilly and ever so drab hospital attire (pictured) for yet another MRI, I saw the Emergency exit and fleetingly thought to myself how great it would be to just open the door and run as fast as I can away from the hospital and forget about the tumor, forget about the surgery and just run. As that was going through my mind, one person after another came past and I began to smile and joke and ask how they were, some opened up to share their story and others just smiled back. I was amazed at how the Lord had opened opportunities for me to encourage and pray for others when I thought I was the one who needed it… Even in my ugly and uncomfortable hospital gown, God found a way to touch my heart. As if that wasn’t enough, I came home to message after message of beautiful encouragement on my Face book page and my phone from friends and family. That was exactly what I needed and He knew it. I am so grateful for each and every one who shared that they were praying for me and wonderful words of encouragement. That blessed my heart so much and made me remember a couple very important truths that I would like to share…
1. As Christians, we are never alone! (Joshua 1:9)
2. We are blessed when we bless and encourage others! (Hebrews 10:24)
3. We REALLY need someone to design some comfy and pretty hospital gowns! : )
Thank you for letting me share my heart! My Surgery is set for September 16th. I will continue to blog and share my journey as I go and I ask for your prayers for a successful surgery and God’s hedge of protection. I am praying that God will use my experience to bless and encourage others along the way. If you are experiencing something that is shaking your foundation, let the joy of the Lord well up within you
JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH… NEHEMIAH 8:10
Jeaunetta lives in Watertown, WI.